Hello there, everyone! Who’s on Instagram? Let’s check out each other, you guys! I am @katmusni, how about you? :)
- September 14 2014 | - Read More →
My skin was bulletproof long before I even left the womb.
You can call it the color of milk, call it thick cream-
the police call it protection.
I can walk in the middle of the street and only get a warning
because I can walk the line between life and death
Let me not forget that the universe is endlessly creating opportunities following my lead whenever I choose to love. As I open my heart, life will birth itself through me.
You get nothing from being comfortable. You get nothing from settling, you get nothing from staying put, you get nothing from “fine.” There is nothing wrong with comfortable, but don’t expect it to move you, don’t expect it to make you better, don’t expect evolution or growth. To become something more than you are, you must do something more than you’ve done.
We are who we are, and we are also who we are on the verge of being. In each step we take exists the foreshadowing of the next step, a near future echoing into the present. And to get to that place, to become that person, there must be a push, there must be an exertion, there must be a reach.
Sometimes the motivation comes from within, sometimes we feel it in ourselves, almost like a future-self calling to us, reaching its hand backward to pull us closer, but growth is best spurred internally and externally at once. We are who we are and we are who we are with, and it is up to us to decide who that is.
So surround yourself with people who push you. Surround yourself with people who see that future you and want to help you be it. Surround yourself with people who make you jump into alpine streams when you’re having a bad day because they know you need it, even — and especially — if you don’t want it. Surround yourself with people who know what you deserve and tell you to demand it. Surround yourself with people who will call you on your bullshit. Surround yourself with people who know you can do better than you’re doing and tell you so.
Surround yourself with people who make you sleep outside even when its cold because when you wake up in the middle of the night and your vision is filled with stars, everything will suddenly make sense.
Surround yourself with people who have confidence in you when you can’t manage to conjure it up in yourself. Surround yourself with people who won’t let you get away with things. Surround yourself with people who make you leap out of your comfort zone. Surround yourself with people who make you walk farther, climb higher, and go longer than you really feel like doing because they know the view at the end will be worth it. Surround yourself with people who love you too much to let you settle. Surround yourself with people who make you wake up to watch the sun rise. Surround yourself with people who will tell you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear.
Surround yourself with these people not because it will feel easy, or comfortable, or even safe. Surround yourself with these people because they are the ones that will electrify you, will make you feel the blood in your veins, will remind you that there is something bigger out there and you need to go get it.
Surround yourself with these people, and give back to them, too. Push them the way they push you. You’ll wind up pulling each other along. You’ll wind up both being all the better for that push.
Happiness doesn’t come with all the positive and finer things life has to offer. You are tired but you’re happy. You are sick but you are happy. You are broke but you are happy. You are alone but you are happy. You are challenged but you are happy. You are feeling everything but still, you are happy anyway. Happiness comes from within. I hope you are happy anyway.
Lately I’ve been spending a good part of nearly every day thinking about love. Romantic love. The kind of love that involves french kissing and mix tapes and spooning in New York City in the summer when it’s by most people’s standards too disgustingly humid to spoon. The kind of love you wanna bring home to your grandma and say, “Grandma, look at this love! Just look at this LOVE!” Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…….and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.
Intimacy is not who you let touch you. Intimacy is who you text at 3am about your dreams and fears. Intimacy is giving someone your attention, when ten other people are asking for it. Intimacy is the person always in the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.
I know you move your fingers when you sleep because I have felt them move and I know I must do the same.
And I must wonder how many times we have unconsciously, in dreams or nightmares, reached for each other’s hands and never even known.